I'm not even on the internet. Your internet is on ME. Yeah. Admit it.

Age: Older than the LG's I have a hard time avoiding. Height: A tad over 6'. Weight: I lose 5 pounds by chewing food. My abnormally large penis makes up for it, though.

• The net is incredible. Knawmsayin? Visit THE INCREDIBLOG.
• Drool a little on your keyboard. Meet the WHAM BAM BABES.
• Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse. No really, she does.

Click the "Stalk Me" tab above for links to all my stuff. And stuff.